28th August 2017

Creative writing

Guilt and/or redemption.

Sporting moment.

Individual redemption of a previous in-contentment.

Duration of a single race, with out specifically saying this… using indicative language to prompt the reader into knowing time is passing.

Opening: Personification & listing. (attributes of the environment that I am in

Paragraph 1: Sense

Paragraph 2:

Paragraph 3:


Adrenaline pumping, heart racing. You are peaking, primed for what is to come. Driving out the gloomy thoughts of earlier yesterday morning, when the edge was not yours. Stretching and swinging, as you nervously complete your final ritual, that is borderline OCD. Or at least this is what you are told by those lining the tiered awaiting your passing only to shout encouragement that will only ever bounce around before dissipating into nothingness, never acquiring its intended target. This is your final chance to ‘psych up’, the moment that could make or break the coming 27 seconds.

The overpowering smell of chlorine burning all exposed somatic cells into nothingness, the pain eased by the passing of time. This is a normality for you as this is your second home, fifty percent of your diurnal life is spent in this environment; in the water. Your vision, blurry from your body heat against the cool chill of the moisture that surrounds, channelled as if you were wearing blinkers. Blocking out any peripheral distractions, that there is a plentiful surplus of in this instance.


Join the conversation! 2 Comments

  1. Kobi, I like your idea- it suits your style of writing.

    Make sure you are utilising all the time in the coming periods to ensure this is a polished piece of writing.

  2. Kobi, nice idea.

    Remember to focus on the scene- the task is called “Being There” and you need to create a rich description for your reader to imagine themselves in your setting.

    Think about your point of view- you are using first person at the moment and the task requires you to use second.


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